Unfiddling Feelings #5 – Winter Blues

DE: Eine Kolumne mit Kelly Kosel, in der an Gefühlen gefummelt, Fäden verfolgt und Themen rund um Sexualität, Körper, Intimität und Beziehungen eingeladen werden.

FR: Une chronique qui s’adresse aux émotions pour démêler certaines de vos questions sur le sexe, les relations, le corps et l‘intimité.

EN: An Advice Column that fiddles about feelings to untangle some of your questions about sex, relationships, bodies, and intimacy.

Feeling blue?  Here’s a Recipe That’ll Make You Happy

When the mornings are dark, the evenings colder, and your inner spark feels dim, it might be just the long winter creeping in. Sometimes winter is cozy and comforting — But it can drag on forever. If your mood’s gone grey, here is a slightly pushy recipe of ideas to combat winter blues and help lift the fog.

• • Crafting. Got some old newspapers lying around? Host a creative Crafty Sunday (or Monday, Wednesday, Saturday) of collage-making. Invite a few friends, bring scissors, glue, and cardboard, and off you go. Add a dash of poetry1, doodles, or paint. If collage is not your thing, go for beadwork, clay modeling, or any other craft. And remember to have a few snacks handy.
  • Game night. Love them or hate them, board games rhyme with childhood joys—or traumas! Even if you’re the “I’d rather not” type, you may feel unexpectedly energized after a game. A bowling night works too.
  • Craving connection? Set up a catch-up ritual with friends, or start a Prosecco Plenum. Ask your friends who else is struggling with winter blues. They’ll groan… and be grateful. 
  • Massages. Suggest giving each other gentle back massages. Not platonic, just healthy restorative ones. Physical contact—be it a cuddle, hug, a squeeze, or even a kiss—can generally help ease emotional strain and strengthen connections.
  • Sex. Don’t shy away from non-platonic, sexy massages. Sexuality does not hibernate in winter, though you feel less sexual drive. It just requires a gentler approach. Share more intimate time with your partner. Perhaps get to cuddle together all naked, or explore solo pleasures with new toys. Need ethical recommendations? Reach out. 
  • Tea and reading. There is a reason books and tea are such a cliché—they work. Pick your favorite book, choose a cozy spot, silence your phone, grab your drink, and surrender to a good read.  Set a timer if you must. Overwhelmed by your reading list? Pick the slimmest volume off the shelf (or most inviting). Avid reader already? Start a mini book club or plan a shared reading afternoon. 
  • Date yourself. Take 2 hours (and free yourself from social obligations) for that one exhibition, that one movie, that one workout, that one hiking trail (etc.) you’ve had your eye on for weeks/months/years. Take your calendar. Pick 2 hours. Schedule it now. 
  • Cooking together. We’re unmotivated, and it’s putting a strain on our stomachs. Your meals have grown monotonous? Break the cycle.  Invite a loved one, or three while you’re at it, and cook and dine together. Food tastes better when shared.
  • Sportdate. Exercise Exercise Exercise. Make an appointment with yourself or someone else. Moving your body is often the quickest way to combat winter depression. Hate sports? Put on your favorite song and dance for 5 minutes. You might just smile.
  • Go for a walk. Yes, it’s cold, and we find ourselves walking aimlessly. But a 20-minute stroll—without your phone and or rushing anywhere— can reset your mood. Science agrees..  
  • Forest bathing. The good thing about Luxembourg? There are a lot of forests to walk in and out of. Let nature regulate your nervous system.  Bring a blanket, sit under a tree, and simply be. It’s magic. 
  • Buy a daylight lamp and stare into it every day. Stupid, but effective. 
  • Sleep. Try to sleep 8 hours every night and go to bed and get up at similar times if possible. Then you’ll have more fuel against the blues. Boring and very difficult at the same time? Yep, but what can I say… There, too, science agrees. 
  • When it’s more than just a phase. Seasonal depression or other mental health challenges are nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes it’s not enough to go on the stupid little walk for my stupid little mental health. Sometimes it takes a therapist and/or psychiatrist to talk to. All the tips above? Still helpful, so no excuses.

Are you reading this and feeling low? Write to me with your thoughts and emotions, relationships, and sexuality. Having your question answered in print might lift your spirits. And who knows— if you see your words here, it means winter’s behind your back.

See you in Spring,

Kelly.

© Illustration Dunia Ciuferri

Article translated from German